What a way to start

We had the Christmas program at church tonight.... Felt we should go even though we are heading out in the morning. I think we ended up staying too long as I had three kids crying in a space of 5 minutes. Abby first, as Nick hurt her in the inevitable cops and robbers.. (even though I told them to keep their hands to themselves GRRRRRR) and then Nick, as a older girl told him off for hurting Abby, and well, we all know how well he handles being reprimanded by others.. it was an accident and it was none of this girls business, but anyway. Then as I was dealing with Nick, Michaela tumbles off a bench and starts crying. Now I watched her fall and it didn't look too bad, but when I reached her she was covered in red. I flipped slightly, as I had visions of the ER for stitches AGAIN, and I couldn't figure out where she was bleeding from. So, I scooped her up and carried her to where I could get to water. A paramedic in the church came in to check on me, as he said he saw the look on my face, but by that point I was calming down as I was beginning to realize it was just icing from a pretzel. (choc. with red stuff on it that really REALLY looked liked blood, the only thing that saved face for me was the fact that the paramedic thought it looked like blood too.) So, no stitches for Michaela and just one very foolish looking mommy.

My kids are wailers..... which means when they cry they are REALLY loud... which is embarrassing.

The car ride better be better.

p.s. i got a very large gift basket complete with a bottle of champagne from a dog tonight.... this holiday keeps getting weirder and weirder.......

shoes

For those of you who have been asking, I went with the sensible shoes. I knew I would!

I will try to get those snow pictures up for you later, it has been a busy, stressful time trying to get ready. As usual, plans change at the last minute making things all the more busy and stressful .

Pray no one gets sick, as there are so many germs running around this time of year!

Winter Storm

Well, here it comes again. This is our third winter storm watch of this season. We went out this morning to run some errands and everyone is talking about the weather. The forecasters say that a low pressure zone, orginating in Texas and being fed by the warm moist gulf air is barreling towards us and set to dump 20-30 cm of snow in 24 hours. Most of the snow will be falling mid-morning on Sunday. We woke up this morning to some lake effect snow- a couple of cm so far and still falling. I don't think I've ever seen a weather warning stating we were getting a near crippling snow storm- but the nice red weather warnings on the T.V. have that exact wording!

It has been an interesting winter, and is going to be a long one. Normally we are lucky to have snow for Christmas, this year- well, there may be a foot of it!

I took before pictures this morning- I'll post those later with photos of our new snow fall.

Christmas is drawing ever closer- and the kids are getting more and more worked up. I went out last night with Jen and Tammi and bought loot bags for the car. Tim thought I went a little nuts and thinks they are getting a stocking before Christmas, (and in a way I guess they are!) but they will love it!

Cheers!

Christmas Tree

I committed a cardinal sin in the Duncan family Christmas tree tradition this year and went out and bought a tree from a grocery store. This year has been so very cold, and i just did not feel up to trekking through the sub-zero temperatures, to find a sub-standard Christmas tree!

So, last night, with Abby chattering in the background- (Mommy, did you make this? Did Nana? What about this... Is this glass, can I hang it Mommy?) I settled down to decorate the Christmas tree. (a side note, Nick went upstairs to watch Tim play a computer game- deciding that was far more interesting than hanging stuff on a tree)

I've long since admired the designer trees found in magazines. They are so beautiful. But, this year for the first time I began to realize what a treasure my own tree is. Shortly after we got married, my mom downsized her tree and gave me my share of the family ornaments. Hanging these on my tree is like a walk back into my childhood. Ornaments my mom made when she was newly married, ornaments that I had made through the years. Some stand out more than others. The ball of dried flowers my mom gave me the first Christmas after I was married, it contains parts of my wedding bouquet dried. The patchwork stocking that I made that same Christmas, taken from old shirts of both Tim and myself and made into stocking ornaments for everyone as we had no money! The horrid (and yes Grace would agree) Christmas ball she gave me the first Christmas Tim and I were dating. Grace was about 9 I think, and giving Christmas presents to everyone was a must. I love the ball, as it reminds me of a generous little girl and her acceptance and love for her big brothers girlfriend. The Christmas balls my grandmother gave me ,some as old as I, and of course all the ornaments, bows and balls my mom has made over the years, and best of all, the angel she made that adorns the top of our tree each year.

This year, for the first time, possibly because my little girl is getting bigger, I noticed more ornaments my kids have made taking center stage on the Christmas tree. An ornament spray painted gold made from Popsicle sticks and pasta, a snow man made from foam balls and pipe cleaners now are proudly displayed on the tree.

I laugh as I remember how I made Emily hide all the homemade ornaments (which she insisted putting on the tree) at the back! Now, I am happy to have these displayed proudly, I'm helping Abby build memories.

So, in retrospect, I wouldn't change a thing on our tree. It may not be as pretty as the ones you see in a magazine, but it means something, each piece holding a memory for me, and building a memory for my children.

By the way, I decided I should do the popcorn strings this year as well, and Abby ended up doing almost half of them. I was amazed! What a huge help!!! And she only needed one band aid!

Abby

I'm watching my little girl swaying and singing along to her Daddy's Ipod while happily killing her daily allotment of trees. She loves to draw and uses daily at least 10 if not 20 pieces of paper with her creations. She comes into the living room folding up her "present" for me, lovingly placing it on the coffee table for me to view later. She passes by the T.V. and pauses, coming back for a better look as a jewelry commercial is on, and there is a diamond necklace on. Once it is done she continues on her way, back upstairs to raid the paper supply again.

This morning my plans for the day were drastically changed as Abby asked, on the way home from dropping Nick at bus stop ,if Mosey could come over to play. With a sigh, as I know it will mean more work, I said yes. Jen wanted to go out, so all of a sudden I had an extra kid and two dogs to look after. It was busy!

Finished off some Christmas presents and baked a batch of cookies. Tim is only 10 book sales away from 500. Oh how I hope he hits that number! It is something of a mental barrier. With the total sales of his book over 1000 now it is getting exciting!

Going to get our tree this weekend, I love when the house smells of stale popcorn (popcorn strings!) and pine!

Girlie vs Sensible

Boots. A true must in this Canadian weather. I need new ones. The style right now are these wonderful knee high fur lined not very warm boots that I love. I went boot shopping today, and my girlie side was waring with my sensible side. I really want those boots. They are so cute, but reality is a) they cost about 150.00, and b)I walk the kids to school and really they aren't warm enough, and c) with walking the kids to school they will get destroyed. d) they will be out of style next year anyway.

So as you can see I have 4 very good reasons why I should not buy those boots, but darn it, I like them! So I left, without any boots. I can't buy sensible ones right now, while my heart is still attached to the knee high ones.

Today however, as I trudged through the ice and snow walking the kids to school in my running shoes, (and just about killing my self several times on the ice) I began to come around to the sensible option. We will see... my feet were crying today because it was so cold (this weather is nutty for December!)

Really footware is my weakness... I love shoes clothes for the most part I'm not too picky, but i love shoes! So we shall see which wins out!

Canadian Winter

I wouldn't be a true Canadian if I didn't dedicate at least one post to our winters. This year is proving to be a doozy. After a very very mild fall (we were running around in t-shirts in November!) that had everyone screaming global warming, the last two weeks have yielded a cold snap that has even us hardy Northerner's complaining. Today it is COLD, - 20 with the wind chill (that is -4 F for you southerners) and my hair froze a little on the way out to the car this morning. We have already had a snow day, and two winter storms blow through, and now we are waiting for a good 10-15 cm of snow to hit tonight, before it warms up then we get rain, freezing rain before it changes back to snow the wee hours of Monday morning. Maybe another snow day? This is very early for this weather for us, normally we would expect these temps late January. We haven't had time to adjust and is so it has been such a shock to our systems! Now, if I could just get Michaela to wear mittens.....

It amazes me how inaccurate the weather forecast is. Just last month they were proclaiming that we were going to have a mild winter with a fair amount of snow. Now, they claim we are in for a record breaking cold December! Wonderful. So much for science!

I like the snow, I don't think I would like to move to a place that didn't have the extreme season changes that Canada boasts. I'm o.k when it hits -10, much lower than that and it is no longer fun. As a child I loved having snow for Christmas. Not this year as we will be in sunny and warm Georgia!

I have an Abbyism for everyone. She had a pj day at school and a notice came home from the eco-club. In order to wear the PJ's at school everyone had to bring a dollar to help the polar bears. No dollar, no Pj's . I'll leave that one alone as you can imagine what I was thinking... but Abby in her sensible 5 year old mind asked.... Who's going to go up and give the bears a dollar and how is that going to help them? What's a polar bear going to do with a dollar?

Christmas Shopping

I have been panicking lately, as it is getting ever closer to Christmas and I have barely begun my Christmas shopping. Tim's birthday falls in early December and it is always hard finding gifts so close together. Combine that with going away and Christmas, leaves me with a feeling that Christmas is really much further away than it is! I have, for years preferred to have my Christmas shopping done by December 1st so that I can enjoy the season!

I decided- since Tim's birthday is less than a week away now, that I would brave the crowds today and head to the mall. I had no idea what I was going to get for him, but thought Michaela and I would brave the crowds. On the way to the mall the radio announced that it was cyber-monday. Apparently today was the biggest cyber shopping day of the year. I hoped this meant that there wouldn't be many people at the mall!

My first stop as always was Old Navy, I love that store for it's clearance racks and today was no different as it gave up a variety of goods (Including pants for 10.00 and shirts for 2.99!!!!) All in all, as Tim will be reading this I can't tell you what I got, but I will say I manged to walk away with 7 articles of clothing for 100.00.

Next stop, the Gap. I''ve never found the deals that Maryanne and gang find in the States, but today, I did o.k. coming away with a pair of pants for a little girl for 3.97 and a couple of shirts!

By this time Michaela was out of the stroller and toddling through the mall. I needed to hit zellers for a birthday gift, but she got side tracked by the massive water fountain in the middle of the mall. The girlie loves water and this was way to much to miss! I was trying to pull her around the thing intent on my mission, when I realized that this was an opportunity. How often am I going to have the chance to sit and watch my little one in awe of something so simple? So we sat and chatted about the water, until she was distracted by the up escalator and we talked about that too, a little later, we continued on our way, me thankful I had stopped for a few minutes just to watch her curiosity!

All in all, I did o.k. today. and feel a little more on top of this Christmas thing. Abby and Tim are almost done, stockings are 99% complete. Nick is 50% done and well... I haven't even thought about Michaela, but we are getting there! Christmas is just around the corner!

Oh the Frustration

I have a love hate relationship with my ebaying. Love it for reasons mentioned before. The ability to make a little money while working from home. Hate it as it frustrates me to no end. Yesterday did approx. 1500 dollars in sales. Today, had 700 of that taken away due to bad information sent to me by people who should know better, but are too disorganized to filter me the proper information. So instead I have to issue refunds to three people who ordered units as far away as 10 days ago. Sigh. I don't get upset when mistakes happen, but I do when it is preventable. The only thing stopping me from doing this on my own is a little piece of paper I signed.

It is 5:10, the kids are hungry, dinner hasn't even been thought of, and Tim's phone just rang with yet another client who doesn't understand the 9-5 policy, or can't calculate time change.

It is going to be a long night.

I've been so bad lately about writing. This is the busy season for Ebay, and I've finally asked for some help. Grace will be handling the tracking numbers for me in a hope that it will improve the communication with my customers. I did fifty sales last month, a grand total of 11,000 dollars worth. Finally- now if they'll just pay me! I've frustrated with my boss right now, we always end up needing a make-up session after the busy season. They drive me CRAZY sometimes, but I have to remember to be grateful for what they did give me.

I'm reading John Owen right now with the challies.com gang. Wow, is it hard to get through. Thankfully I have a husband who will translate for me, as there is no way I'll do it on my own. I'll try and write some better content this weekend. Blessings!

A little glimpse of Heaven

We were part of a church for five years that used home churches. We had just moved to a new town and didn't have many friends in the area. We were leary of a small group that prided it's self on intimacy. Determined to give the new church a fair try we set off to one of the home churches closest to our house. Run by the worship pastor and attended by a couple of members in the worship band we hoped we would fit in. This home church rapidly became a huge part of our lives. The people in it were ordinary people from different walks of life, and yet we bonded together in a way that didn't seem to happen in the other home churches.

Tim and I were talking about it on the way about town yesterday. I have struggled a little since that part of our life ended, it was so wonderful having a deep connection with a group of people. We helped each other through some tough things and had some great times fellowshipping together. Tim said something that struck deep within me. He said it seems that God gives us these moments in life as a little glimpse of heaven. He shows us on a small scale what it will be like having a deep fellowship with other believers in heaven. God gives us this for a time it seems and then it passes and we all move on. We try to recreate that but it never seems quite the same.

I got thinking about another time in my life when we had a similar experience. Tim and I were in a youth group for three years while attending university. The middle year of the group we just connected. It was a great year where the group met and bonded in way that we hadn't before. It was a year full of laughter and a deep spiritual connection, we had good discussions. The group broke for the summer, and the next year it wasn't quite the same. A few people left and there were a few new faces, but reality was that God seem to have removed the extra blessing he had placed over us.

It would seem, that God gives us these moments to remind us in such a small way what is waiting for us in heaven, and takes them away to remind us how much better it will be!

I've loved these moments in my life, but hadn't been able to make sense of the abandonment I've felt with them ending until Tim mentioned to me that the glimpse of heaven had been taken away.

I'm so thankful God has given us these little glimpses. Think of what is waiting for us!

Starting a new Halloween Tradition

One of the best things about living in the suburbs is the sense of community that we have in our neighborhood. I love bringing the neighbours together with a little creativity, and was looking forward to our second annual gingerbread house making party this year.

Tim had an idea. He really isn't big on the neighborhood get togethers, they are a little out of his comfort zone, but he had a thought about something we could do this Halloween. So, if I manage to get the invites done (Tim called me a girl, but I love making pretty invitations for people!) I will be sending out today invites for people to attend our first before Trick 'r' Treating BBQ for Adults and Kids alike. We figure we'll throw a couple of BBQ's out in the common area, provide hotdogs and hambugers, ask people to bring drinks or a salad and chairs and hopefully everyone will get dinner before we send our hyper kids out to knock on doors. It will be a way for everyone to get dinner, and hang out. FUN!

I'm excited. I love planning these things. I'll add a picture of the invitations later I hope!

Feeling Fall Festive

When I went grocery shopping today, I happened upon a whole row of wonderful vases and candles that were just screaming at me to buy them. In muted brown, yellows and greens they were beautiful. I've been feeling like I need to decorate for fall lately. It has been odd for me since I normally limit my decorating to Christmas, but the house seems to need some color. I picked up a wonderful brown squat vase and gently placed it in my cart after much humming and hawing. At 6.99 it seemed like a good price. The floral section yielded some beautiful corkscrew grasses and some long grass in a muted green. All in all very pretty. It would have looked great on the mantel.

I say would because my sense of reason soon took over. We are still trying to behave financially and I simply couldn't justify spending a total of about 15.00 on the pieces right now. Sigh. So I walked out empty handed, and my mantel sits bare, and I rest in the knowledge that I saved my husband some money on something that was completely unnecessary!

We have had a birthday party issue in our neighborhood. Harley, who lives next doorish to us is turning three. Her favorite friends are the 4 kids in our circle, Nick, Abby, Paige and Mosey. The problem is that her birthday is October 31st. Abby's is the 30th. I had decided to do a Halloween themed party this year, tentatively set for October 27th. Lone behold, I got a note from Harley's mom that Harley's party would be on the 27th and all four kids were invited. I wrote back and explained that I was hoping to hold Abby's party that day and that it had to be that weekend as I was looking at carving pumpkins with the kids and that wouldn't really work after Halloween. She agreed it wouldn't work, be wouldn't consider moving the party.

So, what do I do? All the kids are so much older than Harley, but it seems so mean (as I know Paige and Mosey would come to Abby's party not Harley's!) to hold it on the same day. In talking to the other Mom's they told me I need to do what is right for my kid. But it just didn't feel right. Last night, Harley came running out of her house, and lovingly handed out invitations to her party. That was it. There is no way I'm going to do that to her. I will move Abby's party, change the theme and send out reserve this date cards two months early next year!

Nickyisms

Nick has a way of reducing me to tears of laughter from time to time. As my eldest he is over responsible and has a quirky way of looking at life.

He recently completed his first ever sleep over somewhere other than my mom's. He stayed with Tim's Aunt Liz over night as he was tempted by his beloved Conner. Desperate to spend more time with him, he agreed without thinking. He did it, but when he arrived back with me, he jumped into my arms tears in his eyes and CLUNG! Then off to Tim. Tim was startled and asked him why he was crying.... "These are happy tears Daddy" says my sensitive son.

Today he asked me how long he had to go to collage for. When I told him four years - he wailed- I can't be apart from you that long! I told him he could live at home and he settled down, then he informed me he would like to go for a week, because then he could see what being an orphan felt like. HUH? Apparently they were talking about Thanksgiving at school and they were being thankful they weren't orphans.

Oh that they would remain this innocent and silly for awhile.

Too much happening

It has been such a busy week. We loved having Tim's parents with us, but as usual the time was too short.

God has been working on my heart lately. I've been increasing frustrated with some aspects of my personality, but have been unsure how to go about dealing with them. It seems that God has placed me in a bit of a valley of late. It is funny how often you are coming to the end of the valley before you realize that you are in it.

Frankly, it is hard at time knowing how to be a good wife to my husband. Tim often seems to be somewhat of a spiritual giant to me (he is laughing right now I promise) and I so often feel completely inadequate beside him. I often wonder why God has placed me here instead of someone more his equal. How can I support someone I feel so inferior to? It is an odd feeling. Before you think I'm feeling sorry for myself, can I assure you I'm not. I don't think I go around beating myself up over this. Speaking to someone on the phone today about this it was interesting because they informed me that if Tim and I were both the same, we would become awfully arrogant, and right now we balance each other out. Food for thought.

I've started a new blog. We've been talking (Maryanne and I) about starting a "Christian's who Public School " blog, since we were down for Grace's wedding. I've been feeling a little isolated lately with our decision since so many people are home schooling, so this blog was born. I got tired of waiting for Maryanne to start it. (smile) I'm still hoping she'll guest post though (hint hint) . I don't want it to be a place to debate the merits of home schooling vs public schooling but rather a place where the issues of Christian kids in the public system can be discussed. I'm excited!

All in all it has been a blessed time. We ran into an old friend at the wedding, one we hadn't seen in 7 years. It was neat catching up and seeing how far we have come in such a short time. God is good!

Ebay explosion

I simply have not had time lately to post anything. It has been so busy with school starting up and with work , blogging has been the last thing on my mind. Ebay has exploded in activity over the past two weeks, (7000 dollars in sales!) and every nap time has been taken up with processing order, tracking numbers and putting up an new auction (the most adorable bedroom set I've seen!!!) Isn't it cute! And only retails for 899.99 including shipping! Abby wants it, but alas we have two girls in one small bedroom. I think it will sell well, but we will see! I love the storage bed, and want one for Nick's room when we move him. I've enjoyed working lately, we finally have tracking numbers working well and I seem to be having an easier time with my "bosses".

I've been busy getting the house ready for Tim's mom and dad coming. Clean, clean and more cleaning! We seem to be on the cusp of some very big changes in our lives. Tim is considering some options work wise (hint: change in careers, but I won't say more for now) Pray for us, as any change for me seems a lot harder than other people. I resist so much, and anything finical is scary! It always is for women, I think, as we have no control over it! I've got to find a better way to end these posts... but for now I simply have nothing left to say!

New

We have a new washer and dryer, or at least we will be getting one. It is exciting. What I am going to do between now and Wed for drying clothes is a puzzle, it is raining today, so we can't hang them, and our condo rules forbid clotheslines. I already broke that rule once and don't really want to incur the wrath of the nutty neighbours! As you recall we already got a phone call about the Great river of China being dug in the common area, they wouldn't hesitate! It is a front loading washer- which will be cool. We didn't get one of the matching sets- those were too expensive- so we got the bottom line dryer- but it does have one of those moisture sensors in it. Everybody and every site we went to said to just buy the cheapest dryer you can- splurge a little more on the washer- so we did. Things never break at a convinent time- money wise this is not a good time- but we have to be able to wash our clothes, and it made more sense to buy both as the washing machine has to be talked into spinning the clothes- it won't spin them until you go back down and thump the machine- then it will spin them. Anyway thing of the past. We spent yesterday cleaning the basement in preparation for the new machines coming!

Today our pastor launched into a new series on the book of John. It will be interesting. It is still refreshing after so long to hear that they are going to be study through the Bible.

Abby starts school tomorrow. She is excited. We just go some clothes from Susan,and Maryanne there is an outfit in there that you would love! It is this cute pleated denim skirt, white blouse and a sweater vest from the Gap, it is adorable and I know what Abby is wearing for picture day!

Nick's first week of school seems to have gone well- Not so crazy about his teacher as she seems a little disorganized. He has to do 20 min. of homework three times a week, which isn't bad except she didn't give it to us until Friday, and since we won't let him do homework on Sunday that gave us Friday night and Sat. to do 60 minutes of homework, it didn't go down well- but we got it done- He is a little frustrated as they have them reading picture books right now, not chapter books, so he is bored. The other funny thing that happened is that Jen gave us some choose your own adventure books- and Nick understood how you are to read them- but didn't want to read them that way, instead he sat down and read the silly thing from cover to cover. Made me wonder if he really was understanding what he was reading!

Michaela's mouth seems to be healing well- and her hair goes up in pig tails now! She has mastered HI (although it still mostly the HHH noise) and says to to people walking by complete with a wave and giggle as she thinks she is MOST clever.

Signing off on a rainy Sunday- have a blessed day.

Michaela did it again.

Tim and I carefully laid out a morning school routine for the kids. Since Tim gets up at 6:00 to do devotions, he would wake me and the kids up at 7:30, at that time they will climb into bed with me for morning devotions, after which they head downstairs for breakfast and I hop into the shower. Lunches have been made the night before, clothes laid out. No chaos, simple. It went so well the first day of school. Last night the kids headed outside for some playtime after supper. I made lunches and started tiding up. I stuck my head out the door, just in time to see Michaela fall- forward, her head hitting the pavement. Not again!! She stood up blood pouring from her mouth, screaming all the while. We were concerned initially as she cut the inside of her lip badly with her teeth, but she settled down. It wasn't until 20 minutes later we noticed she had split the skin below her bottom lip badly. Off to the hospital we go. The nurse at triage thinks we need stitches. Again. It is funny sometimes how God works. We initially went to the walk in clinic, praying all the way that they would be able to stitch her again like they did last time. This time they wouldn't even look at her. We tried another walk in clinic praying again, and they weren't open. So, off to the hospital we go praying that it wouldn't be busy. The waiting room was packed. I think there were only three chairs left when we walked in. However we were in and out of there in an hour and half- Michaela didn't need stitches and Tim and I were so thankful. Now, hopefully the cut will heal well. It is hard because it is constantly wet from drool etc. We are praying it doesn't get infected. It was interesting in retrospect to see how God choose exactly when to answer prayer last night. We met some interesting people, and one very flamboyant male nurse (his jewerly matched his cherry red scrubs)We got home at 9:40, and hustled the kids who had been at our neighbors off to bed. I didn't think there was a chance we would manage with our morning routine. I was ready to take Tim's head off at 7:30 when he woke me up (Michaela was up a lot in the night, in pain I'd imagine) but, we did it. So the routine wasn't broken. I'm glad it is over and done with and thankful it wasn't worse.

School

School starts again in the morning. We had tears tonight from Nick as he claims he will miss me too much. He hates new things and is a little nervous about starting. His bag is packed with his new pencil case, new indoor shoes and gym bag complete with gym clothes. His lunch is made waiting in the fridge. He is bathed and his school clothes are waiting for him all laid out. My boy is going into grade two. It was startling to me to realize that when all of them will be in school full time- meaning Michaela will be in grade one- my oldest will be in grade SEVEN!!!!! How short time is. I almost weep as really that isn't very far off. I have been doing devotions with the kids in the morning- trying to read a lesson from Nancy Ganz's Genesis commentary. I want to send them off to school each morning with God's word on their hearts. They don't always listen that well, but hopefully some is entering their brains! We've been doing them for two weeks now- and I'm thankful we started the routine before school began- hopefully it will be easy to continue it!

We have a new 7 year old boy in the neighborhood! Jake seems like a nice kid- and we had the odd experience yesterday of having two boys show up on the door step looking for Nick. Which was a good thing, I love the fact that Nick has BOYS coming to see him- there are 7 girls in the complex and before now there was only Nick. They wanted him to go to Jake's house at the other end of the townhouse complex to play. Tim looked at me and said that was fine- but inwardly I was panicked! Normally he just goes out to the front to play- suddenly he was going to another house - and walking there by himself (with two other boys)
With a "good- well I'll see you whenever.." I don't think so.... I'm frantically making up rules as I go along..."Do you know our phone number- give it to me. Good- when you need to come home call and we will come and get you- don't leave on your own. Stay there no where else...." And off he goes..... "Tim follow behind and make sure he gets there... I don't care if there is three of them- I'll worry all afternoon if I don't know he got there o.k......."

Nick was fine, and Mommy after a little reasoning settled down too- now to work on me for next time. I had a very distraught Abby on my hands who was so used to doing everything with her brother and for the first time in her life was not invited or welcome. She was so upset. Poor thing, but this is life and this is going to happen as they get older. They really are best friends right now- and Nick will always look his little sis. Abby had the girls next door over and that alleviated the distress.

It was a good end to the summer. I don't want winter- really I don't.

That Time Again

Cold and flu season has hit..... already. It is only August and yet Michaela is working on her second cold for the month. Nick had it first, as managed to pass it along. This is crazy and has me worried about what kind of season it is going to be. We normally manage to make it almost through September before this starts. I hate it when my kids are sick, and am stressing about a few days of broken nap times and bad night sleeps. Poor Michaela has sneezed about 50 times so far today! We are, in a few minutes heading off to Abby's ice cream social for her class. Kind of a meet and greet. Mostly to get the kids out of the house. They are seriously driving me nuts as they are so bored they are constantly fighting. CONSTANTLY! Abby bugs Michaela, who is at the need to vocalize but can't talk so I'll scream stage. I'm trying to remain patient, but I can feel my defenses slowly crumbling. O.k. I really better go, I haven't brushed my hair yet today. Remember when I said that everything was under control, and that it is always short lived...... yeah, this time really short lived!

Times

There are times when my house feels like everything is under control. I have entered one of those time, where I seem to be on top of everything. It never lasts long, but, it is so nice when it happens! The house is clean, the kids clothes sorted, shopping done. Thanks to a major shortage in funds at the moment, I've been having to be a little more creative with cooking, and school supplies. We were doing so well financially for such a long time, we kinda forgot that we need to still watch what we spend, embarrassing, but we have learned, and also realized in the mean time how much less we need to live on. We are o.k. (lest people worry) but just, and things are a little stressful at the moment. But, God is good, and we have been in this place before. We have a week left of summer vacation, and it is going to be hard next week as milk forms and stuff come home , I'm not sure right now we can do all that and Abby especially will be upset. (I swear we end up putting out $300.00 each time school starts with all the lunch, milk and other money stuff that comes home) The kids are ready to go back, Nick is so bored, but has taken to reading like a duck to water. Two days ago he blazed through three books in one day. These are novels with grade three reading level. We have a reader, thankfully!!!

Nicky-ism for today. Holding up a package of Ground Cumin. "I'm never eating anything with this in it!!" Puzzled I ask, Why?, "Because it is sand!!!!' Ummm, no....." Yes it is look it says so right on it ..... look.. GROUND."

Michaela

Yesterday it was quite hot. Our church saw it fit to place a water cooler at the back of the church so people didn't expire during the service. After church I was talking with a friend and observed my littlest one, (who had asked to be put down) watching people intently at this water cooler. She then proceeded to push her way up to the table and grabbed a glass on the edge- toddled under the cooler and held her glass under the spout. She stood there waiting until someone pushed the button for her and filled her cup. Then she happily toddled away and drank her water, only to repeat the whole process when her cup was empty. We were all laughing watching this baby push her way through a sea of legs, arms outstretched patiently waiting for someone to fill her cup yet again. It was funny to watch the adults start as they realized what she wanted. This is Michaela. She is so very observant, and understands people very well. When asked she will get me a diaper, throw out objects into the garbage and put away toys. Yet, she hardly talks. Ta, (for please and thank-you) KA (for yuck) Mumma (for mom of course, and Ow for you guessed it. There are a few others too, but not much! Her understanding far exceeds her vocab. She has no fear- which is scary for a mom watching her 14 month old try to drown herself in a lake because lying down and having water flow over your face is fun. She figured out how to climb the bunk-bed ladder and I walked into the room to find her smiling at me sitting on the top bunk looking rather pleased with her self. I am busy. It has been fun watching her personality emerge, but I know this one is going to give me gray hair!

(Nicky ism for today- "I'm going to convince all the girls to live with me with the amount of money I have.... I don't want to live under a tree!)

Forgive me

I'm so sorry for all of you who have delicate sensibilities, this post is going to offend you, but it is one I have been threatening to write for some time now.

Tim loves baseball. LOVES baseball. Our summer evening lately have been quite predictable. Tim sits down turns on the game, Aileen starts moaning and groaning and fussing.

I've come to the conclusion that I could stand the baseball, if it wasn't on 6 nights a week, and if crotch batter wasn't playing.

Crotch batter- or as the rest of the world knows him Reed Johnson. He has the most bizarre ritual in the game of baseball I think and frankly it disgusts me so much I almost shudder every time the man comes to bat. Between each and every pitch the man steps out of the box, wedges the bat in between his legs resting on his you know what and proceeds to adjust his batting gloves. Picks up the bat again, and steps back into the box. Why this bothers me so much I find it hard to say, but I think it has something to do with the fact that I don't want to be watching this man balance a bat against his cup every night! I've heard he is a nice guy, but he needs to loose this habit for all the women watching!

On another note- I finally found a dress for Grace's wedding. Good old Winners- my husbands idea. The dress is exactly what I was looking for and everyone's husbands eye's will be safe from cleavage shots! (I still feel really bad Maryanne- but Pat can take all the pictures he wants at this wedding with no fear!)

I've been thinking a lot lately again about gossiping tongues- after another nursery session. I'm trying to find a book on the subject- Tim is looking too- so we shall see!

We are going away for a week and I am looking forward to it- Really for mom's vacation is doing the same thing in a different setting- but we will have a beach and no internet! Tim is going to get a lot of reading done!

Blessings

Shopping for Time

I have been reading Shopping for Time, by Carolyn Mahaney and daughters. I will write more extensively on it later, but wanted to mention one thing today. One part of the book, they talk about something they do in order to meet with God each day. They all get up at 5 am. They talk about the importance of rising early, to meet with God before each day begins, and so before I really even got into the third chapter of this book, my heart began to fall. I can't do that. Truly I can't. I'm up still each night about 3 to 4 times with Michaela, I simply cannot get up at 5 am.

Then there was a little paragraph half way through the chapter. "...rising early may not be realistic for moms with young children who still get up at night. You are already part of The midnight club and the 3 am club aren't you? No mother of an infant should be condemned by this chapter. Rather, we hope that you know the Lord's pleasure in your sacrificial care for your little one."

My eye's filled with tears as I read that one simple sentence. "...the Lord's pleasure in your sacrificial care for your little one."

Like it or not- we as mom sacrifice a lot to care for babies. But, for some bizarre reason, I never considered that God would understand and even take pleasure in the sacrifices I am making to care for my kids. It never occurred to me that I am still helping my relationship with God and serving Him through caring for my kids. He understands that I can't right now do an hour's worth of devotions everyday. I still need to do what I can, devotion wise that is- but I tend to throw up my hands and give up because I feel like I'm not doing enough (time and attention wise)

So for now, I will be doing my devotions in the evening, after my kids are in bed, because for now that is the best time for me. I look forward to the time when I can start my day arming myself with His word, but I trust for now, He will bless the time I have, and pray he will continue to take pleasure in my care of my children.

Playing Soccer , Dress Shopping and Getting Old

I signed up to play womens soccer this summer. Soccer a long time passion of mine filled my youthful summers. I loved to play, and in some ways still do. This season however has been hard on me. The team I'm playing with is filled with girls who for the most part are a good 10 years younger than me. It has been seven or so years since I've played. I'm simply not as good as I once was. This has been a very very hard pill for me to swallow. I'm competitive by nature, especially with sports- and I once was pretty good at soccer. Not outstanding, but a good solid player. Now, I'm a little (or a lot!) out of shape, and my timing just isn't there anymore. It has been one of the most frustrating experiences I've had. I had hoped as I played it would get better, and it has, a little, but I'm afraid the reality of it is simply that I'm getting old. I know someone who recently told me that she simply would not play summer soccer anymore, because she was not as good as she once was and it was to frustrating for her. I can truly understand. I'll finish this season, but am not too sure I'll be playing again next year.

I also went dress shopping today for Grace's wedding. For the first time since Nick was a newborn, I'm a size 8. Right now, I weigh about 128 pounds. I can say this because it won't last! The minute I stop nursing the weight will come back with a vengeance! I was excited, because I'm now thin, so finding a dress should be easy right? The biggest problem has been finding one where my chest isn't hanging out. I'm stuck in that almost middle age category, where the dresses are either too young (not made for people who have had three babies sucking on them!!) or too old. I just want a simple sun dress!!!! Basically I'm feeling pretty crummy about myself right now, which is a little unusual for me, normally stuff like this doesn't bother me too much.

I did get Michaela a cute dress for the wedding, and found Nick a tie, so all is not lost. It has been a very busy couple of weeks!

My dramatic son.

My darling little boy is finishing grade one today. They grow up far too fast! It's hard to believe that this year has flown by! He loves his teacher, and was sad to be leaving her, but was comforted by the fact that he would still see her around the school next year. Then the dreadful news came, she was leaving to teach at a different school.

My son came down this morning in tears, upset of course, that he would not see his beloved Ms. Aston again. He said " When it comes time to say good-bye she is going to have to say 'have a nice LIFE, 'cause we'll never see her again!!'" (insert heartbroken sobs) My poor boy. Tonight might be rough, but he will have a baseball game to help him heal! He is so dramatic!

I'm proud of him. His teachers said he was a pleasure to have in the class this year, and he did very well in his first year of 'real' school. Welcome to a new era, grade two!!

I love you Nick.

Starting Work Again

Most women take maternity leave. Me being me, I was determined that I could handle having a new baby and continuing to work my part time ebay job. I did, for about 10 months. Then I burned out. I actually stopped listing altogether for the last two months, things had slowed down as they do in the tax season, and frankly I needed the break. I was no longer able to juggle three kids, the house and working. Just three days ago I was gently nudged by my boss and I am now firmly back in the swing of things. I relisted only three days ago and have already sold 4 items. I was debating quitting altogether, but realize that the money is a huge help and frankly I do enjoy it. It is so good for me to spend a couple of hours a day when the baby is napping on this!

I am so thankful that God has given me this job, and needed the break to help me realize again how thankful I should be. After all, how many people can simply walk away from their work for two months and then simply step back in like nothing has happened?

Tim and I are both sitting on opposite couches typing frantically on our computers. Oh the life of a family with two laptops! It has been so hot here today, but I have been running around to the gardens out front trying to clean-up the common gardens that have been neglected for years. I have discovered a passion for gardening, which has come as a huge surprise, but a welcome one, it is fun having a new hobby!

The kids are done school in three days, and I have decided that I want Abby reading before she starts school in the fall. She is already able to read the simple short vowel books, and is working on inventive spelling. She is ready and will be reading before September if I can manage to help her practice. Nick is reading at about a mid-grade two level already- so I'm not too worried about him, but since Tim and I had such trouble with Math, I'm going to get the home schooling books and start into grade two math with him. My plan is to have them help me tidy the house in the mornings then spend an hour on school stuff. Once a week we will do the splash pad, library and my mom's house. That combines with sports and church in the evening should be enough for a busy week! We have plans for the neighborhood kids and mom's to go to Canada's Wonderland one day, (which will be interesting!) and there is always someone to play with out in the common area!

And summer approaches! Pray please for Nick's teacher next year. I know Abby's teacher and am very happy with her, but have no clue who Nicky is going to have. Pray that they (french and english) will be good ones!

Helping an Underachiver

I've been having long discussions with a neighbour of mine about her daughter. The public school system really did a number on her daughter in SK, and she didn't learn to read properly. Since then, now in grade two she is behind and is refusing to do homework, hates to read and generally gets stressed out about school. The mom is stressed and worried and has tried everything to motivate the child but has thus far been unsuccessful. Promises of treats, taking away of privileges, desserts have all failed miserably. I'm sympathetic to the level of frustration and have little to offer in the way of helpful advice. How do you make the kid do the work when they flatly refuse to do it? She seems to think that the child is able to do the work, she just doesn't like to and therefore refuses to do it.

Even as I'm writing this I am beginning to wonder if there isn't a learning disability there, but how do you approach a parent with that concern? The system loves to label kids with that stigma and once labeled it is hard to remove that. For the most part she seems like an intelligent little girl, abet a quiet one. I'm at a loss, and am thankful I'm not having to deal with this myself!

Church

Our evening services at our church are considerably less formal than the morning services, and recently the leadership decided to allow people they felt qualified (in other words people they hand-picked and asked) to teach or preach during the evening service. They asked (I believe it was 7) different men to teach on the doctrines of grace.

With the exception of one, these were youngish men (30 and younger) who stepped up to the challenge and spoke on these Sundays. I get goosebumps when I see how many capable and willing men there are in this church. I think it speaks so highly of the leadership and the health of the church that there are this many men willing and able. And it isn't limited to the Sunday teaching aspect. I can think of a dozen other men in this church who are teaching or leading in some other capacity. It is so exciting to see!

Women in so many churches take over, because men will not and cannot step up and take leadership and responsibility. There is even a man heading up the Nursery ministry. His wife handles the day to day running of the program, but any conflict and issues are handled by him. I deeply respect this, as (especially when children are involved) women can get so protective, for some reason it is easier to take coming from a man!

It is nice to see the church functioning in a way that God wants! Hope everyone has a good week.

I asked

I began to notice as of late, as one does from time to time in marriage, that Tim's and my relationship was sagging just a little. Daily life with three kids under the age of seven leave little time for in depth discussions, romance and even simple friendship. My sister-in-law has commented that at times, when you have little children it seems that you become more roommates than a married couple.

Tim lately has been tired. He just looks plain worn out, and having been married for close to 10 years now, I know the signs when he begins to feel neglected. I haven't been feeling particularly good about the way things have been going lately and decided to try something simple to help our relationship and Tim in particular. I asked him to write a list of 10 simple things I could do on a daily basis to make him feel more loved and appreciated.

I have to admit I felt good about asking him to do this. I felt smug and somewhat proud. Here I was 'sacrificing' to improve our relationship. Look what I was doing! Then I read Tim's list. My heart broke and my eyes filled with tears as I read over the simple things Tim has asked me to do in order to make him feel loved. I won't share that list with you, as it is personal, but rest assured there is nothing on there that is earth shattering. Instead, it shows what a terrible job I have been doing caring for my husband. These are very simple, uncomplicated ways I can show him he matters, things that take less than 1 minute of my day, and for a long time now I have been neglecting to do so.

So, forgive me my husband, and rest in the knowledge that I will try to do better. I will be praying that God reminds me on a daily basis to do those simple things that matter so much to you. I thank God that he has given me such a wonderful partner for life, and know that you need to be shown that I love and care for you. Thank-you for putting up with me!

What a week

I will start off by apologizing for those of you who check this site for the lack of new content lately. It has been quite a week. Last Monday night Michaela was playing outside while Tim and I kicked a soccer ball around. She fell on the sidewalk, which isn't really that remarkable, what was more impressive was the fact when she stood up there was blood pouring down her face. Now head wounds bleed a lot, but she really did a number on herself and required 4 stitches to close the cut. It became infected on Friday, and then Friday night she started running a fever. The fever was unrelated to the cut, but she now (after running a fever for three days) has one of the worst head colds I have seen. This on the tail of the other two having the stomach flu, and Abby woke up this morning coughing. GROAN. I haven't slept for more than 5 hours a night for the past three nights. So, THAT is why it has been so bare bones around here lately.

Just a quick update. Would appreciate your prayers.

Conferences

The New Attitude conference was interesting for me, and I am thankful for the experience. I'm not sure that I would take a baby again, it was a little difficult, but I am glad that I went and glad that I got to see what happens. It was interesting to see Tim interacting in this environment, and was interesting to see parts of his "fan club".

The American worship of leaders was also interesting to see. It was amazing to me on a couple of levels. Before John Piper even spoke he got a standing ovation, and the kids were thumping the bleachers as he took to the stage. On one hand it is really cool to see that generation that excited to hear Piper speak. As Tim said to me, if Nick ,when he is 18 is that pumped to go and see a man like Piper we will be thrilled. And, that is true. But is was kind of weird too. I was walking to the washroom before one of the sessions and saw C.J. Mahaney coming out of the men's room these three girls stopped him literally in the door way to shake his hand. The poor guy couldn't even use the washroom! These are great men, don't get me wrong, but they are just men.

We all have idols in our life, and we are told to watch out for them. It would seem to me that people are often making an idol out of these men, and it must be uncomfortable for them.

What I did hear of the sessions was really good. I still am trying to process some of it. I'd love to go to another conference with Tim and just sit and absorb what was being said, not trying to rescue a certain little girl whose hand got stuck in a toy elephant! (yes she was screaming during Pipers sermon, because her hand was stuck and there was no easy solution, as I was trying to keep my hand over her mouth, and free her. The exit was a LONG way away so that wasn't even an option. )

It was good to get away, even if Tim and I didn't get to spend any time together. He spent most of the conference down-time running from meal to meal with people making contact etc.

It is equally good to be home, even though Michaela is teething and very grumpy!

New Attitude

It is the second day of the New Attitude conference. They are in the second session as I write, but the baby, who is with us, needed a nap, so I came back to the hotel to let her sleep. I'll start at the beginning.

We took off from Toronto yesterday at about 11:00. Michaela promptly fell asleep and didn't wake-up until we were pulling into the gate in Cincinnati. Then it was a 15 minute flight to Louisville! Check in at the hotel was interesting. It was about a 45 minute wait. Thankfully a glass cage full of finches kept Michaela interested. The hotel room is wonderful. They actually gave us a suite. The bedroom and bathroom is bigger than at home, and there is a cool living room area complete with table, fridge and a desk as well as a pull out couch and two chairs. It is HUGE. And, we can see the river from our hotel window. They folks at NA have been good to us!

I was very tired last night, so it was hard to concentrate on the session. The worship was cool, but very loud! Rock concert loud. The funniest part about the worship is that Michaela is a budding charismatic! She sees everyone putting their hands up to worship while singing and up goes her hand swaying back and forth! And when everyone claps she does too.

There is about 3000 people at the conference, most of them a good deal younger than us. There are a bunch of moms running around the back with strollers and babies trying to keep them happy during the sessions. I was thankful to see them as I didn't really see any other kids there at all! I missed much of the session last night. Josh was speaking and I wish I could have heard more. Michaela fell asleep towards the end of the session, amidst the loud music and all- she was one tired baby.

This morning we had breakfast with Josh Harris. A nicer guy you will not meet. He was kind enough to email Tim this mornings asking if we could spare some time to chat. It was interesting to hear the guys talking. Mark Dever came by to say hello and asked me how I was finding the first conference. I told him it was interesting, and he started laughing. He said "typical Canadian reserve!" Huh?? It has been interesting! Plus was I supposed to gush? Maybe that is what Americans do! It was enlightening to see how Josh handles people coming up to him, even when people come up to him, even asking him to sign their Bibles! He is beyond gracious. I'm getting more used to people approaching Tim as well. He handles it better than I would. We saw his promotion for his book this morning. It looks good!

All in all it has been an interesting experience. I hope to catch at least one session today, but Tim has us booked for lunch and dinner, and Michaela only had a hour nap. I'll post more later I hope. Blessings!

Why?

We were on our way to the second service last night, and were just pulling onto the highway. I can't remember what Tim and I were talking about, but I was looking at him when he said 'what the??? " I looked up to see brake lights ahead of us and Tim slowed the van down. Seconds later it became clear as cars swerved that a bad accident had just happened. Both outside lanes were blocked and people moved into the middle lane and simply continued on their way. I was horrified. "Why is no one stopping? Tim we have to stop!!! " It looked terrible! The one car was basically missing it's entire front end and the other lay with it's back end smashed in the far lane. There were car parts EVERYWHERE. We couldn't see the driver on the one car at all. Tim pulled in behind the one car as I said- 'Tim I can't do this, I can't.... "He said "it's o.k. stay here, I'll go. " I was convinced given the state of the cars that this was going to be really really bad. I needed a moment to adjust. He started toward the car with the front end damage and as he got to the car - to my surprise and relief the car door opened and an older man stepped out. Tim asked if he was o.k. and then crossed the lanes to get to the other car, I saw him open up the drivers side back door and speak to someone inside. The man from the first car was a little dazed and was wandering into the lane of traffic so I hopped out, made sure he was o.k. and moved him over to the side away from the cars. Tim at that point yelled at me to move the bumper of the car which was in the only open lane- so I hauled that over to the side. After making sure the guy Tim was talking to was O.K. (he was alright, but had shoulder and back pain and somehow ended up completely reclined in his seat.) went back to my kids- who were sitting patiently in the car. Nothing else I could do. Apparently, the man with the rear damage was driving along using cruise control when his car suddenly stalled. The guy in the second car (note please it was a Mercedes) hit him. Now the guy in the Mercedes was bemoaning that his car was a write off- but as I said to him, that car saved his life. There were four airbags deployed (it looked pretty funny when you looked in the car) and I'm sure that is why he wasn't hurt. The engine of the car was gone, but he walked away. The Mercedes was a good car to have an accident in!

What amazes me- was that no one stopped! There were about five or six cars before us to drive around the accident and not ONE of those stopped. We were the first to stop and there were dozens of cars after us that just kept going as well. It was a bad accident- not some little fender bender and it really was something of a miracle that no one was badly hurt. How can people simply drive past??? I don't get it. If both people had been injured , or if there had been more than one person in each car we would have been in trouble. What is wrong with people that they can't help out!

Shortly after an off duty paramedic showed up, then the police. Once she heard we didn't see it, she sent us on our way. We made it to church before the service started. Funny, we felt like we had been there forever, but really it was likely only about 15 minutes in total!

Looking back, Tim handled it really well. We both came away thinking "Man! We need to take a first aid course! "But in reality there isn't much you can do- he was breathing, not bleeding - just keep him still and wait. I'm more horrified by the lack of compassion shown by the people in the other cars. What a world we live in. So much for a quiet Sunday!

Going Public

Up until now, my family has not known where this site was located. I choose to keep it quiet as I found it easier to share my thoughts knowing that no-one would be reading them. My husband found the site almost right away as he uses my computer and I left it up and running. Then in a dumb moment, I posted a comment on Jo's site with my blogger user name showing. I swear it wasn't half an hour later and I jumped up freaked out only to find Jo had already found the site. So after making her erase the comment, and stewing for a couple of days, I gave up and sent the link out.

I'm honestly not sure if knowing people are reading this will change things. It might. But it was time. And I have to say, knowing that people will be reading certainly challenges you to think hard about things and look hard to find things to write about.

So, welcome everyone to my rambling thoughts- I hope I don't scare you too much!

Gossiping Women

For as long as I can remember I have avoided deep relationships with other women. Women can be the cruelest of creatures. Really I think it dates back to the fall, and there is something in us that broke that day. Something we have to continually struggle against. It seems to be in the very core of our being now to pit one and other against each other.

Johanna writes here about the rejection of other women. She writes "Women have always been the most deadly critics of other women. They know how to wound with precision. They know how to judge. They know how to look another woman over from head to toe, inside and out, and then make a diagnosis of all the ills they have found. Why do we do that? So that we don't have to look at ourselves. Because we are jealous creatures. Because we have not learned how to love."

This statement is so true. We seems to have the ability to sense where someone is at their weakest and have the timing down to perfection to grab at the jugular. One of the ways women do this best is through gossip. Proverbs 18:8 states that "The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body." This basically means that it is part of our basic sinful nature to have an appetite for gossip. In a lot of ways I think gossip can be the single most destructive force in the church. How often it is women who spearhead this slander. Men don't seem to have the same capacity for gossip as women. Without even meaning to sometimes it seems we start talking innocently enough, and then lone behold a look or a eyebrow raised and we find ourselves discussing someone that we simply shouldn't' t be. So often it is done with a cloak of concern. "Did you hear about so and so, isn't it a shame" And the sad thing is that we often fool ourselves into believing that we are simply talking out of concern, not gossip! I truly am the worst of offenders here. I am ashamed to admit I like to know what is going on, and I tend to cloak my concern under the "so I can pray for it" attitude instead of leaving well enough alone!

Proverbs 20:19 states "Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler." The scorn in those simple two words "simple babbler!" Images that come to mind with that phase are not pretty!

One of the hardest things to do as a women is really not to listen to gossip. Really, when someone starts talking about someone else we really need to simply shut our ears and tell that person to change the subject. But, how hard that is! In doing so, you are opening yourself up to ridicule from the gossiper. After all, you already know that person is more than willing to discuss other people with whom ever! It is so easy to simply listen, telling yourself that you won't pass along the information, therefore what harm is this doing? But like it or not you are letting the dirt into your mind and heart and allowing someone else's opinions to shape what you are thinking. As women we are susceptible to this sin we must guard our hearts in this matter.

One of the areas I'm never sure how to handle is gossip among a group of unbelievers. With a group of Christian women, they at least know this is something they shouldn't be doing. But, non-Christians are not guided by the same principles and gossip is common and accepted. Is it enough in these situations to lead by example, not participating, not gossiping and changing the subject quickly? Or are we to be more bold?

Johanna at the end of her article writes this: "? A call to you hurting ladies; find your joy in Christ, not other women. We are blessed with female companionship, certainly, but we will fail one another. We will say hurtful things, and be thoughtless. We will make judgments and be neglectful. We will not love and cherish one another as we should. But we will be loved and cherished nevertheless. By another."

My pastor told me this when I first became a Christian, he said "Aileen, Christians will be the people who will most let you down in this world." He simply meant that as Christians we expect more from each other, we expect better. We, however, should also know better. As Johanna so eloquently put it, it is Christ alone that we must look to for affirmation, for only He can fulfill us.

Even The Best Intentions:

If you read the book of Job, you learn about suffering. Much has been said about Satan walking in God's presence, God not only allowing Satan to test Job, but actually pointing Job out to Satan. These are things that I still struggle to understand. Like many things we simply have to trust that God knows best. Today I want to talk about Job's three friends.

My pastor preached a sermon on Job 32-33 on Sunday, this is what drew my attention to this book. I haven't read this book all the way through, just the beginning and the end, and as was startled to discover that while Job was considered to be blameless and upright, he makes a fatal mistake in this book in how he does not give glory to God but rather points to himself. I'll address this more later I hope, but as I began to read this book, I found out about Job's three friends.

In the beginning of Job, three of his friends hear about his trouble and come and sit with him. They tear their clothes, throw dust on their heads.... and they sit; for seven days. These are good friends, sharing in the grief of a broken man. They are the best of friends with the best of intentions. But they fail Job in the most important way. They fail to give wise council and for that they are later condemned. They tell Job it is his fault all this calamity has befallen him. They say that God is mad at him and he must have committed some terrible sin. They fail to understand God, and fail to honor and glorify God. They have the best intentions, but still fail miserably.

It is scary to see how honest these men are in trying to help the fallen, but in how badly they fail because they don't truly know God. It is so important before we try to give council in any situation that we know the truth about God. Surely we will be held even more accountable than these men as we now have the Bible to teach us these truths.

Friends as loyal as Job's are rare. I want to strive to be that kind of friend, but a wise one too! Remembering to give God the glory even in calamity as He works His ultimate purpose for our good and His honor and glory.

The Best Birthday Present Ever!

My husband, for my birthday this year got me something a little different. I have a passion for soft ice cream. I love the McDonands hot fudge ice cream. For weeks I have been craving them, but have been too lazy in the evenings to go out and get one. So, for my birthday, Tim got me my very own soft ice cream maker. It is AMAZING! The ice cream is so good, and it makes the best frozen yogurt as well. My parents came over for dinner on Sat. and we had frozen raspberry yogurt for dessert. Made with fresh raspberries it was the best frozen yogurt I have ever had. It was an amazing gift and one that is sure to be used a lot. Hopefully we won't gain too much weight!

A Matter of Community

Last night, just before the kids went out to play, the door bell rang. It was our neighbor asking where we put the hose that attatches to our house. As I stepped outside to talk to her, I realized once again our front common area was filled with people.

I am not by nature a social person. I like people, but on my terms. Short visits in which I control the length of time are preferred. I also hate feeling obligated to be social, and yet, as much as I love the green space out front, this is becoming a difficult spot for me as I am enevitably called to sit and chat. I feel like I can't just putter around my garden without someone coming to talk.

As Tim and I were sitting on the grass out front with another youngish couple last night the kids dashing about us, I found the situation humorous. These two people, in any other place, we would never have contact with. We have very little in common other than our children. I'm not sure how else to describe them other than they look like they have just stepped off the cover of a biker magazine complete with Harley shirts, tattoos and if it wasn't summerish, I'm sure leather. Very sterotypically I know, but I'm not sure how else to describe them. It must have looked funny the four of us sitting there complete opposites of each other.

Yet through all this I seem to have made a new friend. The girl seems very lonely and is often popping out of her house when she hears us outside.

And, this, right here is where I struggle. I hate the fact that EVERYTIME I step outside that I feel acousted by someone, and yet that is what it is becoming. If it isn't her, then it is the boys next door coming out to see my kids, or the girl across the courtyard with her two kids, or the girl four doors down with her little girl. I'm just not by nature suited to all this activity. My sister-in-law is much better at this then me and seems to thrive on it. And yet, through it all, people seem at least somewhat drawn to me. I actually don't think it is me, but rather God working through me. They seem to know that I'm safe. So, I bite my tongue, paste a smile on and try to be as genuine as I can. Praying all the while that God use me as he sees fit, and that he will soften me so that I can enjoy all this activity. God always seems to put us in situations that stretch us. We can't grow without this challenge, and He certainly is doing that here. I find it interesting that we lived up the road (I can see my old house from the front window) up until a year ago, and yet had no contact with any of these people until recently. I believe God has seen fit for whatever reason to bring all these people into my life and challenge me with this now. I guess I just wasn't ready before, but what has changed is beyond me! I've written a few times about this lately, it has been heavy on my heart.

Beautiful Green

I love spring- I adore spring. It is my favorite time of year. I never grow tired of the fresh green color that emerges after a long cold white winter. This year, for the first time, I have a garden I can spend time and money on. I have enjoyed puttering around looking at the types of plants that I can grow in our mainly shade environment. The front looks pretty good- the back is going to need some work still. Budget constraints mean I am going to have to wait until next year to plant in the back. I'm thankful I live in a climate that has weather extremes. I would miss the dramatic turn into spring each year.

I love our house, but a constant thorn in my side since we moved in a year ago has been the lack of organization in the front hall closet. We live in a town home, and actually purchased the unit because it over looks a large common green space out front. This essentially gives my kids their own private park to play in. Which is wonderful. I love the space so much. The down side is that we do not have a garage. All outdoor toys- from baseball gloves- to Rollerblades- bike helmets end up in the coat closet. (We still haven't quite figured out what to do with the bikes) It was driving me crazy everyday as the closet always overflowed into the hall. Well, yesterday I purchased what I hope is the solution. Rubbermaid Configurations seemed to have a great solution. It was easy to put together too, and I managed to do most of it myself! It looks really good- even has a lower coat rail so the kids can hang up their own coats. At least that is the plan!

My son had a baseball game last night. I truly hate baseball. He, on the other hand, loves it. He is such a serious kid, and so much like me at times it hurts. There is a right way and a wrong way to do things, and if he can't do it the right way he would rather not do it at all. I was exactly the same way as a child. God graciously reminded me last night that He has managed to mellow me over time (a LONG time and still working). Hopefully the same will happen with my son. I will have to remember to pray. At times his heart is still so hard to the gospel, and I really see this inflexibility in daily matters as an extension of the hardness of his heart.

Blessings on your weekend.

Bits and Bites from Ephesians:

You know as well as I do that everything we do, everything, is only because God allows us to. I am constantly falling into the trap of believing that I (me myself and no-one else) in some way have accomplished certain tasks.

In Ephesians Paul is constantly reminding us that anything and everything we do is a result of grace lavished on us.

Paul looks for two marks of genuine conversion, faith in Christ and love towards all the saints. True conversion changes Godward and manward directions in life-Our actions do not earn us salvation but does show it. Without "fruit" our conversion is shown to be false. However it is God that allows us to show this fruit, without him nothing would be accomplished.

Most important prayer is to pray that we see our privileges: We need God to open our eyes to see what He has given us. We need to pray that God grants us the spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him.

Just a few points that stood out to me this morning!

State of Mind

It has been a long year. My youngest will be a year old on Thursday, and when I look at her, I already have trouble picturing the newborn she was when she came home from the hospital a short year ago. She has been, by FAR the most difficult of our three children. She hates solids, can't figure out a bottle, still gets up on average 3 times a night to nurse, and is so clingy that some days she will not get out of my arms. I feel, at times, like the worst parent in the world as I am controlled by this little bundle of attitude. It has been a long year. I feel for most of it, I haven't even really been around. I struggle on a day to day basis to maintain my equilibrium, and at times Tim swears I'm bi-polar as I go from happy to flipping out in mere seconds.

It is tempting at times to wonder where God has been in the past year, but I really do know exactly where He has been. Right there watching. I know darn well that throughout this I have been relying on myself far too much and not turning to God. My devotions have been virtually non-existent and I have struggled. Deep down I blame God for the situation I'm in, when I know full well it is my own fault. How much easier would have this past year been if I had allowed Him to step in as I should have?

It has been hard watching my husband take off in the reformed world, knowing that I need to support him, but also knowing that I need to be in a strong spiritual state in order to support him in the way he needs to be. I don't want to hold him back, and I believe that God needs us to be a strong spiritual unit in order to use Tim to his fullest.

Blogging has helped. By focusing on the positive things God is doing in my life, the little things it has helped to refocus my life. I still have a long way to go. Devotions still aren't happening every day, but are occurring on a much more regular basis. This really amounts to such a short season in my life.

I will continue to pray that God grants me the grace to be the mother and wife he wants me to be. I am so thankful for my three children. May God protect them and draw them to himself.

Frugality; What is too frugal?

I've been thinking a fair bit lately about frugality and how it fits into our lives. Quite a few people on-line have been writing about becoming more frugal and how to do it.

I have been disturbed on a couple of levels by the attitudes in these posts. I do think God calls us the be careful (or frugal) with our money. God never anywhere in the Bible promises that everyone will have the same amount of money, so with this in mind there are a couple of things I think need to be mentioned.

For a number of years, we didn't have much income. My husband was struggling to start up the business and we really needed to be careful with how much we spent. These were lean years, where we only bought what we really needed. God was gracious and we were never without. What I mean by never without, is without the essentials. We had food in abundance, shelter, and the occasional perk. We were able to take vacations due to a family cottage, and had enough money to travel down to the States to visit family. We had what we needed and never really felt that we were without.

God has been gracious. He has also been gracious enough to bless us recently with some more financial stability. I do not take this as meaning we need to live as we did before, only now we will have more money to put away. God has blessed us with more money and while we still need to be careful with our money, we are no longer need to pinch as we did before. I think it is a fallacy to say that we should rely on God's provision not the paycheck. It would seem to me that God's provision is in the paycheck. God doesn't need us to be frugal. He will provide for us weather we are frugal or not. I do agree that God may not bless us as richly if we are foolish. We are called to be wise with our money, and use it to his kingdom and glory as well as our day to day needs. What is being done with the money that is saved? Is it being horded away, or used for His glory? I'm certainly not stating that any money we get that doesn't go towards physical needs should be given away. But, we better make sure we are giving away as we should. My pastor always talks about sacrificially giving. He says it should sting a little what we give, not that we give the left overs. I think this is wise to keep in mind.

I think that being frugal with what you have, not in what you spend is a really good concept. I think that often in being frugal we begin to focus on what we can get for how little. We become materialistic in our thinking. If we fill our house with 'stuff' we got for 'next to nothing' we are really no better off spiritually. Frugality becomes greed as we want more and rely on "God to provide the deals" in order to get more things.

The problem is that we become obsessed with finding the next 'deal' our lives begin to revolve around thrift stores and clipping coupons and searching the net. There surely are better ways to invest our time! There are people who have to do this in order to survive. But for those of us whom God has blessed with financial security surely there is a balance that needs to be implied. I think often people become a slave to frugality, and anything you become a slave to outside of God, you are in danger of making an idol out of it.

I struggle with the attitude of someone who God has blessed enormously with money and yet prays for God to provide simple items around the house and scours the thrift stores for those items. It just strikes me that they are slapping God in the face for what he has already provided for them. Not to mention it would seem to me that they can well afford to buy the item at full price, but that single mom with three kids on welfare certainly can't. Should you really be praying that you can get that item, and not someone who really needs it at that price?

I don't have an issue with budgets, spending your money wisely and being careful. I just object when it takes over your life, especially when God has already blessed you abundantly. Money it is said in the Bible is a reflection of what is in your heart. By squeezing those pennies so tightly are you really trusting in God's provision?

Complaining

I decided awhile ago that I wasn't going to use this blog to complain. I decided that it would be much healthier to focus on the positive things God is doing in my life rather than rant about the things that aren't going well. I'm going to bend that rule a little today, and ask for your prayers. I hate being sick. Everyone does, but it is so hard being a Mom of a baby and being sick. Today I am really sick. Please simply pray that God will grant me the grace to get through the next couple of days feeling so lousy, and that the baby won't get it. If she feels as miserable as I do it is going to be a LONG week.

The last few days the weather has improved and the neighborhood has poured out of their houses. It is funny, but as Canadians we go about six months without seeing our neighbors as we all hibernate in cold weather and as soon as it warms up, out everyone comes. Two nights ago we had 30 odd people running around the common area in front of our house, last night there was 18 people at one point in time. I'm excited (and a little awed at the responsibility) about making new friends and having new opportunities. It is going to be interesting to see where this all leads. On another good note, a very good friend of mine has dropped back into my life again, for which I am very very thankful. I have for some time been quite lonely, as having a little baby and being a slave to nap times etc often leaves you by yourself. I'm thankful God has seen fit to bring people back into my life again, even though it has been where I've least expected it! Everyone is off a church right now, and baby is sleeping. There are buds on the trees and the birds are singing, PRAISE GOD for the sun!

Horrified

As the story of the VA Tech shooting unfolds the horror mounts. Like everyone I am weeping for the parents who lost children, for the students who lost friends, for the people who witness the horror, for the police and personal who are left dealing with the aftermath, for the community. So often you hear the question where was God? It amazes me that people cannot see the state of the world and the total depravity. Things like this happen because people are in a fallen state ruled by Satan. The media frenzy in the aftermath is just as sickening. These poor people are struggling to cope and come to terms with the events, and the media, specifically CNN all day trots student after student in front of the cameras "Where were you?" "What did you see?" time after time, reliving the details. The world has become so small, due to the media that horrific events come right into our living rooms. Because of this all Campus' across North America are on high alert due to the likely copycat crimes that will take place. Pray for those schools. Pray for the victims families and pray for the murderers family- the pain they must be in.

Faith

What is faith? Peter in his second letter states " "...To those who through the righteousness of our God and Savior Jesus Christ have received a faith as precious as ours. " (2 pet 1:1)
Faith is a gift. But how else do we explain it? It is undeserved, it cannot be bought, borrowed or conjured, but can be asked for. Faith is so difficult to explain. We can witness and tell people about Jesus, but unless God chooses to give that person faith, the gospel message will fall on deaf ears. Those who do not have faith in God can ask God for it. Make sense? Of course not, if they don't believe in God, how can they ask him for something? There are a few things in the Bible where this happens. Where we simply have to trust and know that one day we will understand, but for now, it is beyond our simple sinful human thinking. True faith in God, is one of those. One way we can learn to treasure our faith is to get close to people who already do. Faith is not easily found, it is not easily explained, but it can easily erode when we walk with the wicked or stand in the counsel of the ungodly. We have to cherish and protect our faith!

True faith produces works. We do not gain faith by the work we do, but without faith, we can do no work that pleases God.

Ebay Business

Life is always busy. Yet as a stay-at-home mom, I needed something to do that didn't involve kids! I wanted to help my husband bring in a little income, but did not want to work outside the home.

My sister-in-law started me off selling kids clothes on Ebay. I made money, not a lot but some. It was a ton of fun, but I found it far too time consuming having to shop, take pictures, list, and ship the clothes. One of my husband clients (he is a web designer) wanted to start selling their products on Ebay and contacted me. Almost two years later, I have a part time business that brings in an average of about $600.00 a month. There is the possibility of expanding, but with three kids under the age of seven, I'm doing what I can handle now. I work an average of about 1 hour a day. I love the fact I can help my husband, and feel like I'm helping the house too! Best of all, I can do it from home, don't have to ship the kids off to daycare!

I thought I'd share some tips on how to get started with Ebay.

1) know your market. This involves research. If it isn' t sold already on Ebay, (and you can check completed listing to see) it likely will not sell. Before I list ANY new product I research it to see prices, how it sold and when it sold. Time of year and time of week are very important for auction listings! I usually list on Monday nights, about 9.00. I find that time works best for selling CD racks and Furniture. For kids clothes, usually Tuesday nights were the most popular.

2) A good title. This is so important for search engines. You need to make sure you only use words that describe your item. Words like "LOOK" and "GREAT" should never be used.
If I was going to be describing a new little girls dress from the Gap I would title it like this-
NEW NWT GAP Girls 0-3 m dress 2 pc.
It lets the buyer know it is new with tags, it is 2 piece dress from Gap and fits 0-3 months.
Most people would search for this item using girls gap 0-3 m nwt.

3) Description: Keep it simple and short. List colors and a short description of your item, but use sentences and check spelling. A lot of people don't do this and it effects your credibility! Your description need to list any flaws in the item to protect you

4) Pictures: These are the most important part of any ebay auction. Good clear fairly large pictures are a must! And, use the gallery feature. This is so important to people. I always search using the gallery pictures then look at the title.

5) Catchy Template- A good clean uncomplicated template always helps you look more professional. I use inkfrog.com. They are affordable (9.95 a month). With this you get image hosting, save auctions, templates etc. They rarely go down. I really recommend them.

6) Good communication: most people on ebay are reasonable. As long as you communicate with them, they know that you are an honest upfront seller. Email them when they win the auction, let them know you got payment, and let them know when the item ships. It saves a ton of hassle just to let them know what is happening!

7) Feedback is the most important part of any ebay business. I NEVER leave feedback until it is left for me. I had a couple of bad experiences with people being unfair and I now refuse to leave it now until it is left for me.

8) One other tip: I never buy on my sellers account. If I need to leave neg. feedback for a sale, I can't do so on my seller account for fear of retaliation feedback. I therefore buy under a different user name just to protect my business.

Hope this has helped some people

Praise the Lord!

It has been a hard couple of days. With my husband away, and unreachable due to his cell phone not working in the remote location his is in, I have been literally on my own. The kids have been sick, the baby more so than the other two, and I have been sleeping only at the most 4 hours a night. BUT! God has been good. Both the older kids are at school today, the baby is sleeping and for the first time in three days I have a break! This morning, the baby was good enough that I got a load of laundry on, did the dishes and managed to tidy our disastrous house. I'm feeling pretty good- ( a little zombie like- but good!) Hubby is home on tomorrow, and even though we had a scare (they told us we were getting 20 cm of SNOW and we were concerned about the plane!) God has answered our prayers and it is coming in the form of rain now! God has certainly used these conferences to stretch me. But, with his help- I'm doing it! Thank-you Lord!

Gone again.

My husband is gone to yet another conference. I am hoping to continue blogging through this time, but really, it is going to be hard!!! I have three sick kids, (not too bad, but when the baby gets sick.... well we don't sleep! and she gags and barfs ALOT!)

One tip I have have that I faithfully follow, using paper plates! This helps me so much as I then have no dishes to do! The other thing I do is plan on eating out twice. This gives me two meals a dinner to make, (one already cooked in spaghetti!) It looks like tonight will be pizza, the kids were so teary with daddy being gone, I had to come up with something!

I pray everyone has a good night and feels better soon. Blessings.

Jesus did what Adam could not.

"...making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ.' (eph. 1:9)

Christ was able to accomplish what Adam was not. This statement confused me as I read the devotion this morning. What on earth was Adam supposed to accomplish? He was supposed to glorify God. It is a odd conundrum. On one hand Adam, because he sinned failed to glorify God the way he was supposed to, but God in all his wisdom already knew that Adam would fail, and because Adam failed, God ended up being even more glorified because he now had Christ come, and show the world his mercy and justice.

How different the picture would have looked if Adam had never fallen. It is odd to think what the world would have looked like. It seems to me that God is even more glorified because there is sin in the world than if there was no sin. His mercy and justice is shown, his perfect righteousness. Without sin, how important would these characteristics be? Can you imagine a world where there is no concept of evil? Would God's goodness simply be common place? Or would there be awareness of this? Were Adam and Eve aware of sin in the perfect world? It seems that they were, because they knew what it meant to die, but perhaps only in an abstract sense as they were told not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil or they would surely die. So they obviously didn't know about evil , as it would give them more knowledge then they needed to know. I know they got thrown out of the garden for disobeying God (sin essentially started as man not trusting God) , but I also wonder if the knowledge of evil was too much for them, and it corrupted them as well.

Anyway, this all simply got me thinking, God's characteristics of goodness, perfect righteousness, and justice are glorified by us because we know the alternative. I know that God never intended for sin to happen in the world, but I feel that somehow, God is glorified more because we now know the alternative and can see and contrast his perfect nature more clearly.