Sickness hits again......

Frankly, it is getting a little unbelievable. But Abby and I are sick again. Really sick- with what the doctor is calling raging tonsillitis. Not Step- which is good- but we are sick enough that he placed us both on antibiotics. I'm so tired of all of this, so please pray for us. I believe Nick and Micheala, have both had it already- Tim can't afford to get it,he has too much work to do- I need to sleep! Pray that we get and stay healthy for awhile!

Good news Bad news

It has been an interesting day. We took Nicky off to his orthodontic appointment today. His first of what will prove to be many. He had an extreme overbite, and well, we were told today that it is only correctable by surgery. I sat today in the office, Nick in the waiting room as the doctor didn't want to scare him, listening with a measure of disbelief. I asked about other options, and was told that there was none, if we were to use that office. He was not willing, in Nick's case to try any of the other methods as he felt the results would not be satisfactory, and we would end up in surgery anyway. We are welcome to get a second opinion.... which we will get, but he seemed so certain. This won't be happening until Nick is 15, thankfully as I asked about cost and almost fell out of my chair when I found out between braces and the surgery we are looking at $15,000. That's right fifteen thousand dollars. So, we are going to be saving our pennies, as we have no insurance, the biggest downside to being self-employed! I was fighting tears all the way home, Nicky blissfully unaware of what was going on. I'm scared for him, scared for the surgery, scared that the work won't be done in time to avoid major teasing.

That was the bad news. The good news today, Tim's book has gone to a second printing! The publisher sold out of the first run, 5,500 books and has gone to make more! We are so pleased and excited by this news. So, Tim has to hop to it and write another book to pay for Nick's teeth!!! So , even though the day started with bad news, it ended with good news, which is always nice!

The Purge

Tim and I have decided we are done with babies. It has not been a easy decision in some ways. The thought of never carrying another little one inside of me upsets me to no end. We are done with a very precious stage in our lives, and that thought is tearful and sobering. I do not want to go through the first two years of babyhood again. In some ways I am mourning the loss of a stage of life we will never get back, rather than mourning not having another child. And that, my friends is a pretty good indicator we are done. Life moves on, and if the only reason that I want another baby is so that we can continue on in this stage of parenthood, that isn't a good reason at all for another baby!

So, the purge began today. It was less painful than I thought it would be. Cribs, high chairs, and all manner of baby stuff, placed off to one side to be recycled. Baby clothes set aside to be sorted. All done with efficacy and a desire to clean up. I am a firm believer that you have to be ready to do this sort of thing. Even if you are sure you are done actually bearing the children, you have to be ready to part with the baby things. I am ready.

But...... I have to say, I was fine until I sat down to write this post. Now, tears are pouring down my face and while I'm still sure we are done with kids... I'm no longer so sure I'm ready to part with the my babies things.....................

Logs vs Specks

It is funny how stress sneaks up on you. You think you are coping just fine with everything that has been tossed at you, only to find some small matter is your undoing.

I've noticed this time, before the undoing has happened, that stress has been building in our lives. Tim is so very busy with work right now, clients are starting to get mad, but each week he finds he is called to run errands, meet people for lunch and small things that seem to eat away at his productive time. Then there are the conferences, that require a day to get there 3 days in between and a day to get home. Tim is stressed, and as a wife I am desperate to step in and help. Can I answer emails? I need to do something- and yet there is little practical I can do to help him.

I am stressed too. Business is starting to slow down as it often does in the spring, and I need to find a way to keep things moving, made all the more difficult by and unreachable manager and a slowing economic trend. I am stressed about the kids school situation next year. I am stressed about being left at home for what will amount to a week a month without a husband around. I've become very inwardly focused, trying to cope with my own life.

When you are very stressed out, you tend to focus so much on yourself and you forget what is happening in everyones lives. You seem to forget that everyone has things at any time they are struggling to work through. Getting your head stuck in the sand and bemoaning your fate seems natural, normal and necessary. No one can have it as hard as you.

Our associate pastor preached a sermon about dealing with the log in your own eye before the speck in your neighbours. You know when you hear the beginning of a sermon and all the air whooshes out of you, and you get that feeling in the pit of your stomach, like uh oh? I had that, but the funny thing is I didn't know why. I knew I needed to hear this now, but didn't know how it was applicable right at that moment.

I think I may have figured it out. I haven't been dealing with the stress in my own life very well right now. It took one very hurtful event to show me this. And so, while it is tempting to criticize the stress that caused this hurt, I need to check the log in my own eye first, and see how I have been blinded by what is happening around me right now.

It has been a hard lesson, and I am still licking my wounds, but God is sovereign , gracious and works all things for good. That is my comfort. I know, if I let Him, He will use this to His glory, and that, really, is all that matters.

Reluctant

I have been reluctant to post about the chos of the last week. Tim tells me I always post about the bad things and never focus on the good. I've taken this comment to heart and will try to do better- but i just HAVE to post about the past week.

Friday- We have a rough morning getting the kids out the door. I get to the bus stop slightly rumpled to find Jen standing there with Mosey's backpack. WHAT!! Abby doesn't have school does she????? Well, Tammi turns up to confirm that yes the girls have school today. Well, now I have to go home, pack a lunch and a bag for Abby and take it back to the school... Just then Nick comes running up " Mom, Mom, I forgot my LUNCH!" Wonderful, now I have to go to Sunningdale as well.

I run those errands, then head to the grocery store- where Michaela throws the biggest tantrum in the line she ever has- I die ten deaths of embarrassment as she screams for 20 min, while I'm waiting to pay for the groceries. All the experts tell you to leave the store- with no groceries, but really I spent an hour and half gathering those and it isn't feasible to leave them!!!!

I make it home even more rumpled.

Friday Night- 10.00 - I start feeling sick. by 10:30 I'm throwing up- I crawl into bed to be woken up at 11:30 by Michaela throwing -up. Everywhere- babies have no sense of a bowl.
We spend the night on the couch, both of us throwing up every 20 minutes or so. In the next 36 hours every vertical service in my house is covered in vomit.

By Monday- we are starting to feel better- but now I'm bleaching the entire house in the hope that this will be contained to the two of us.

Fast forward to Wed. I'm feeling good- It has been 5 days or so- no one else has come down with it.
-Dinner time- Tim heads out and get's Nicky's request of McDonalds for dinner- he comes home and announces that the driver side window fell into the door. We have no window and it is still below freezing. Just then Abby announces she is feeling sick.

Abby spends Wed. night downstairs with Tim, throwing-up.

Now- God has been gracious, as Abby doesn't appear to be as sick as Michaela and I- she is keeping down fluids now and complaining she is starving. And she makes the bowl!!

I am worried this is a different bug... if Michaela get's sick again.......

Fun huh? And we are getting yet another snow storm.

Eight Years Ago.....

Eight years ago today at about this time (it is 9:00ish) I was busy pushing a little one into this world. It is hard to believe watching my tall son bounce around this house this morning that it has already been 8 years! I could have never imagined so long ago what a blessing it would be to have this child in my life, but he has been a constant source of joy and laughter for us.

This morning- we woke up to yet another snow storm. Much to Nick's delight, school was canceled! What a birthday present! He headed out into the snow to help Tim shovel the neighbours driveway before settling down to play with his presents.

It's hard to believe looking outside at the winter wonderland that it was 20 degrees out when we brought him home from the hospital on the 6th. We are going to have more snow on the weekend too!

At any rate- Happy Birthday Nick!