Week

In a very bizarre turn of events my husband, much sooner than I thought possible, is now on the brink of scaling back drastically in his web design work.

I hate change. Always have. The thought of him changing jobs gives me hives. A few months ago Tim's restless spirit reared it's head, and I was once more forced to think about the possibility. Tim was in contact with a book editor looking to expand. Things were moving slowly on both sides and eventually got placed on the back burner. Insert sigh of relief.

Tim's agent contacted him about a week ago to let him know there were several offers on his two book proposals. Good offers, which meant Tim could take some time off from design to write. Not too scary for me, but change never-the-less.

The big one hit a few days later, when he got a offer from an organization, which amounted to part-time employment. A good salary, and one which, with the part-time part, would still allow him to blog, do conferences, and write. Tim told me if he were to think of his ideal job and write it down, a lot of it would be in the job description listed in this new job. Insert panic attack.

So where is my comfort? Oddly enough I get a great deal of security from Tim's self employment. During these difficult economic times, Tim has always found work, and I find that I like the fact he is not tied to one company. The freedom offered with his current line of work is so very secure. Weird huh? The very thing that freaked me out 7 years ago when he started the company is now my security.

The offer in most ways is simply too good, how can it not be God's will? But I still find my self panicking the same way I did when Tim walked home with the pink slip years ago. Oh how I wanted to have grown beyond that! I cannot put my value and my security in material possessions, but how much easier it is to trust in some ways when you have little and have to wait for God to provide, then when you have much.

Listen to me. Tim will likely succeed as he always has, but I assume that we are going to be back to where we were 7 years ago when Tim started. And even if we do... God works all things for good.